Unbelievably Different

More meaniful reasons

2011-05-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm only worth a fuckin text. That's all I am. I'm treated like a fuckin accessory and not appreciated as a fuckin friend or a so-called best friend. Let me give you my thanks. Thank you for not appreciating all the times I asked you to have dinner, lunch or go have a massage and using me to get Jun to put us on a guestlist for a club I and Angel ended up not going in too and didn't use. Thank you for making Kris cry to ME, that was heart breaking. She's innocent in all this and she told me everything that happened while Alan was with me!! Thank you for a FUCKED UP Vegas trip that I ended up spending the day by myself and you not watching the fight with me, which Angel, Alan, Harry and my wonderful Jay spent with me. Thank you for keeping your secrets from me, but getting me involved. How fuckin dare YOU!!!!! Thank you for being a better role model for my kids. Solstice caught on. She told me that when she grows up that she wants to be like "ME" and doesn't want to grow up like Auntie Sharon and Auntie Michelle. That broke my heart!!! BTW this might avoid the question to unite me with Jun for the rest of my life or more so ......molding your kids which is including all of your god children and my girls' future of thinking twice about marriage at this point we all hope that this will make them better adults than you two!!! Thank you for being the way YOU are!!! For ALL of us that are involve that have to clean and fix you're fuckin mess. It must be this nice and easy to just drop your mess because it's much easier to blame others. Easier said than done,you two bitches. "Oh we are separating, cuz i cheated on him" its more like "I'm a cheating whore and I think my stretch mark ass wants to satisfy some other man who has baggage too." WOW and you girls are the worse cheaters i've ever seen... really?!?! Really?!?! You guys FAILED miserably and I'm laughing AT you with every gut in my body. After you read this I'm going to stay with my family and do my best, just like your husband's. The KEY WORD is BEST... I'm not perfect, I'm probably worse than you're husbands. But you forget men will either except you for who you are or think how to sleep with you, so I'll try. What made you think you did your best? I will love my man and your husbands for who they are. You two, I already know that you won't need to worry about me. It would be useless. Too many instances of giving you the benefit of the doubt and unconditional love to replace it with a stupid fuck nut who likes easy girls. Don't ever say you love me, it's out of context. You're welcome and I'll fuckin forgive you're stupid asses when I'm fuckin ready!!!! You're deleted from FB... Bye!!!!

2011-05-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

I'm a cyber bully at heart.  This message below was suppose to
be meant for someone I thought was my best friend. But had
change in a matter of two weeks.  Well actually a couple of years
now.  I guess it was brewing in me.  Now that I am at the verge
of insanity. My conscious has stopped me from actually sending it. 
With all that it's worth,  I'll never share this to the person that had
purposely hurt me. It's fairly therapeutic and I think I'll laugh at
myself, later. I'm just angry and maybe I have been for a very
long time. Yes I am a cyber bully and don't know how to keep my
thoughts shut.  So be it... here you go...

-------------

If you want to apologize in a text. So be it....

I can no longer look at you as a best friend or a sister. I thought
that I can grow old with you and love you unconditionally. But I
guess this turned out to go the other direction, which is being
betrayed and used. You're unappreciative and disrespectful. And
I'm not ashamed to express it. Even though you'll be around. You're
fake to me.  I know strongly now, than before,  that I can't trust
you. I'll be blunt with you NOW!!! Once you find you're place in
this world. Make sure you remember to blame for yourself for your
actions. You are at the bottom of all low. Please spare me the sorry
and thank you for the memories. You're going to have some new
ones and will forget how good you use to have it. Because your
selfish ass will get to have it your way.

Rumors and Getting Old

2009-03-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

Time to blog my thoughts away. Mainly they are questions that I can answer, but can't see myself actually go forward with the process. As I do what any 40 hr employee does everyday, which is work. There are others whom can't appreciate what they have, or there are others that don't have much going on and are obsesses with other peoples lives. This is some scary shit.

What if you were a person whom all of a sudden started feeling uneasy in a public setting? It doesn't have to be at a mall or at a park, mainly everyone is minding their own business. Let's say it's in a workplace, where eventually your every move, thought, belief and personal life is being analyzed, misinterpret and scrutnized. Sometimes you can weed out an individual out of the crowd, but what if there is a bunch of them. Now that's a mob of stupid shallow mutha-Fers. What can I do? I love my job and I consider it as my career. Shit I've been doing it for 10 damn years. How can you say "LEAVE ME ALONE!" in a self-manner way? or No I'm not the the office drunk, I would never buy a round of drinks for co-workers! or No I'm not pregnant, what gave people that idea!

I remember a crowd of kids in junior high use to believe they were the toughest cholos and cholas in the 7th and 8th grade. They thought hickies, having sex and talking slang was cool. I remember the principle being extremely upset when a 11 year old was caught with alcohol in a big ass sippy cup. Classic isn't it. Shit I remember smoking for the first time my the girls locker room. At least we were smart about it, we did after the gym teacher left for the day.

Anyways, my mom made me realize something that I myself may have just put aside. When the decades change in age you mentaly belief of the "I'm getting old" kicks in. She turned 60 and she have health problems one after the other. Nothing life threating, but she act's like each pain is her last. My poor mommy (yes I still call her mommy) hopefully she can get over this hump.

Times like these...I wish I was with my girls and my love. But I have to remember that the money I make; can provide them with food and clothes on there backs......and there little mommy with toys, clothes, purses and video games.... lol

until next time................peace

What pissed me off today

2009-02-24T16:25:00.000-08:00

Today just bothered me more than others. Why, well I've trusted that today would be another day. My goal was to work hard and mind my own business. hmm well a bomb shell happened. I have a common group of individuals that I have been hanging out at work and found myself slacking off more than usual. My co-workers, are not one to blame. So I thought I can just exile myself and try to play catch up on my work. But in a matter of five days my sensitivity has sky rocketed and now there is a rumor around the work that I'm pregnant.

Now I wish I was, but that would be a fucken lie. after my bases of all the rumors, shit talking, damning the man for not giving the union workers what they want, hearing about ocotomom, Rihanna and Cris Brown, who slept with who, about traffic when you only live 15 miles away, the stimulus package and can't help but litsen to my co-worker in the next cubicle conversations on the phone (annoying as hell)!

Why do we compare this to High School? Well we should say this..... we are all compelled with other peoples lives because were are bored of our own. Really i can give a rat's ass about other peoples lives when they complain to much. I love ....LOVE the brighter side of things! Please don't come to me about shit that doesn't concern my kids or me.

Trying not to get caught up!

2009-02-05T23:43:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm working with at a big organization, but as a temp. Just a couple of week ago the manager asked if I was interested in having a temp position under there company name. I though to myself that there is no difference, I just get paid more.

Can't Believe I've barely started.

2009-01-15T18:10:00.000-08:00

Yup I can't believe I've started blogging. With all do respect with the abuse of Myspace. I've have officially stopped blogging on there.

Today can make some sense if I only knew how. Last couple of days I've felt invisible and thought that since everyone believes that I can eat whatever want and not gain a damn pound. I've decided that I should just over indulge. Well my awesome friend at work my nickname for her is "Care Bear" since I do call her that from time to time, has an appetite for life or whatever is thrown at her. She has helped me since I've started at the Union Mafia hole that I work at.

Although I've got a temp position it doesn't mean I have no feelings in how I should be treated. I don't mean by my co-workers, but of course by one of my Supervisors who happens to be Filipino and totally bossy. We shall call her the "Menopausal Banshee" Banshee for short. Care Bear and I don't understand her and sometimes treats us like her children. Great I work with someone whom I've tried to avoid the last 10 years since leaving home.

Today was the day she has told me how to do my job. No she didn't ask if we know what we were doing. She was talking to me and another co-worker like we didn't know how to wipe our own butts. I hate that shit.

Until the weekend. I'm due for some snow in another state. Me and the little girls are going to Utah... Awwww new experiences are needed in life.